


Be My Sunset (I'll Be Your Silhouette)

by Anonymous



Category: UNIQ (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day before their official disbandment, Sungjoo takes Yixuan out for a ride. <i>We are not going to be strangers with memories starting tomorrow,</i> Sungjoo says, and Yixuan follows his lead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be My Sunset (I'll Be Your Silhouette)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [lanternfest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/lanternfest) collection. 



> **Prompt:** future/disbandment
> 
> DAY 8 [14 February]

Yixuan is so used at being a leader.

He’s used to take care of his members—taking the role of a mother of four annoying kids on his group, someone who makes sure they eat and sleep properly and the one who guarantees their well-being despite the tight and horrific schedule they have. Yixuan is so used at his usual headaches by the courtesy of other members (being the eldest member isn’t easy, he swears to God), and after all these years he grows impossibly fond at them, but then the management contacts him and tells him, _it’s over_.

Yixuan knows _this_ is coming. UNIQ has gone into several hiatuses on the past few years. The first is when Wenhan announces he’s going to get his master degree, so he needs some time to focus on his study and Seungyoun adamantly declares they are not going to release a song as a group without Wenhan there. Yixuan helps their manager to set up new individual schedules, and his heart aches at the emptiness when the members aren’t complete. Sungjoo stays by his side most of the time, holding his hand and assuring him this is for the best. Yixuan trusts him.

The second is when Yibo starts showing serious interest in acting, a little over a year after they reunite. They are currently promoting a song, but Yibo’s own schedule keeps bumping into their group schedule, and Yibo stays out for the rest of the promotion both in China and Korea. Yixuan’s heart aches again—Yibo composed three out of five songs in their mini album yet he’s not here to show the fans his hard work. Management cuts the promotion time short and tells them they need a break. Yixuan agrees, but Sungjoo doesn’t. He doesn’t think it’s fair, especially for Wenhan who just came back and for Yixuan and Seungyoun who had worked really hard for the album. But UNIQ isn’t UNIQ without five members and Yixuan tries to tell Sungjoo that maybe, maybe they _do_ need a break to calm everything down.

(Sungjoo doesn’t talk to him for three days after that.)

 

 

The gap between song releases are getting wider and wider. They know something is wrong, but no one is brave enough to open their mouth and ask. Days passed so quickly until they have to go under another two years hiatus when Sungjoo is enlisted to the military.

This is the hardest hiatus Yixuan has ever experienced. Sungjoo is the anchor where he finds a place to hang on when things turn bad. Yes, Sungjoo is one of the four annoying brats and he can be so childish sometimes, but he’s also the Korean leader and someone who understands the most how uncomfortable Yixuan feels to be in a foreign land without much knowledge of anything in general. Sungjoo is the source of his energy when he starts feeling anxious or not good enough. Sungjoo is _important_ for him.

_I’m going to be back before you realized I was gone_ , Sungjoo says, laughing. Yixuan hates him for being so inconsiderate at the time like this. _Don’t worry, everything will be just fine. We had survived once, and you’d survive once again._

The first was _we_ and the second was _you_. This will be totally different without Sungjoo there, and Yixuan does try really hard not to cry. There are cameras and fans and his members around, but at this moment Yixuan doesn’t want to pretend about his strength. He has done it often enough.

He pulls Sungjoo into a hug, crying silently into his shoulder. Camera blitz flashes uncontrollably at his action but Yixuan is far too gone to care. He presses a kiss on Sungjoo’s lips, trembling with tears. Sungjoo embraces him again with _I love you, Yixuan. Take care_. as the last words he whispered to Yixuan’s ear.

 

 

Yixuan is so used of having the other four bothering him all the time that he feels like he’s dreaming when their manager, eyes brimming with tears and voice shaking, tells them that the management decides they should disband.

_This is not real_ , he hears Wenhan says, brows knitting into a furious frown he rarely shows it on his usual days. Yixuan thinks he isn’t the Wenhan he knows, but then Yixuan realizes he isn’t himself either. He just listens whatever their manager has to say in order to relay the message from the company, but nothing really clicks on his brain. He studies Wenhan, Seungyoun, and Yibo’s expressions; so much indignant in such young faces. _So much pain._

“What should we do, ge?” Yibo asks, and Yixuan reminds himself to blink—oh, just how long has he stared at the other three?

“I don’t know,” Yixuan says, heart bleeding, he feels limp and no one is able to help him to stand up. “I mean, it’s the company’s decision. Do we have a right to deny?”

Yibo lets out a sharp gasp. “You’re giving up the team because of some bullshit?”

“I-” Yixuan pauses, thinking. Is that what he’s doing right now? Giving up on UNIQ, his life, his joy and tears, his family, the most important thing to him for more than ten years? _Hey, maybe Yibo is right._ Maybe Yixuan has no energy left to keep hanging on the thin string to hold them all together. Maybe Yixuan has come to his sense that he’s actually not that strong ever since Sungjoo left for military service. And he has no energy left to keep pretending.

“I really don’t know. Sorry.”

Seungyoun, Yibo and Wenhan don’t respond. They keep looking at their manager, hoping for some sort of miracle. This is a nightmare—no, it’s even worse than a nightmare because they can’t wake up and sigh in relief that everything wasn’t really happened.

“Sungjoo is discharged from the military tomorrow, go talk to him, Yixuan. You all have a month to settle down, please come back to the company by next month. We’re going to do a press conference. We’re really sorry about this.”

This is not something that will be settled with an apology and press conference, but there’s nothing much they could do. Seungyoun and Wenhan go home right away after the meeting, and Yibo spends the rest of the day packing all his stuffs on the dorm. He takes the latest bus to go to his relative’s house, telling Yixuan someone will come to take his belongings tomorrow.

 

When their manager comes to bring them dinner, he only sees Yixuan in the dorm. Yixuan offers him a small smile, saying, _Everyone is so eager to go home, huh?_

Their manager bursts into tears. Yixuan stands there, feeling guilty and powerless. He didn’t say anything to the other three members when they blatantly show their disappointment on the management, on _him_. He didn’t even prevent them from leaving. He just stands there, watching. And when everything is too late, he regrets all the chances he didn’t take. This is the way things go for Yixuan.

Yixuan eats the dinner alone after their manager left. The food is cold and there are too much leftover on the table.

 

 

Sungjoo is back to the dorm on the next day, and Yixuan spends the night crying his heart out on the former’s chest. He finally finds some strength to stand up—but everything is too late, as always.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, go home, maybe? Tell my family I’m on a holiday?”

“Don’t lie to them. You will hurt them when they find out we’re actually disbanding.”

“They will still get hurt, whether they know it soon or later.”

“Hey, the Yixuan I know wouldn’t say something like this. Give me my lover back, I don’t know you.”

“Lover? Who’s your lover? Are you even my boyfriend?”

“Heh, you’re saying this after going out with me for five years—”

“—by going out, you mean those awkward dates after you accidentally kissed me during practice? You didn’t even ask me to go out.”

“Ah-ha, here we go again with that shoujo manga side of yours. You really are into sweet fairytales and happy endings with the handsome prince charming, aren’t you?”

“Of course, I want my own happy ending. The handsome prince charming is optional, but I just… I want to be happy. Even if it only for a short period, before I completely forget how does it feel, to be happy.”

 

 

Yixuan goes home the day after, bringing all his stuffs with him. His mother only asks if everything is okay in Korea, and Yixuan only nods with a bitter smile. _I’m going back next month_ , Yixuan tells his mother. His mother smiles at him and says she’s going to pack him with all delicious foods enough for five of them when he flies back to Korea.

_It would be nice_ , Yixuan replies. His heart scattered inside.

 

 

The news breaks a week before the due date according to their manager. Yixuan knows his family is hurt, but they show greater support for him instead of showing how confused and sad they are with the sudden explosion.

Yixuan cries on the phone with Sungjoo, tiring himself to sleep.

(When he wakes up, he got three miscalled from Wenhan, Yibo, and Seungyoun. Yixuan responds by sending a bunch of cute stickers to their group chat, and the members mimic his act. They start attacking each other with lame stickers and for the first time in years, Yixuan can laugh with his heart.)

 

 

Their manager texts him before he goes to bed; reminds him that he and everyone need to be back to the company in three days.

 

 

One day before their official disbandment, Sungjoo takes Yixuan out for a ride.

Yixuan sits on the passenger seat, one palm resting on the car door covering his mouth as he stares blankly outside the window. Ah, Korea again. Seems like everything changes in overnight in this country; Yixuan had only gone for three weeks and everything on his sight right now seems brand new.

“I’m sleepy,” Yixuan says to Sungjoo beside him. “Can I have some sleep?”

“Sure, we’re still pretty far from our destination,” Sungjoo smiles without tearing his gaze from the road. “I’ll wake you up when we’re there.”

Yixuan lowers his seat and closes his eyes. Today is one of those summer days where the sun has more vigor to shine than usual; or probably it’s just the global warming. The air conditioner feels nice on his face, and he falls asleep before he finishes counting to ten.

 

 

When Yixuan opens his eyes, his head is spinning and his back aching from being in the same position for too long. The car is stopped and Yixuan has no interest of guessing the place Sungjoo brought him to, and Yixuan just follows his lead. He’s so used at being a leader, but sometimes Sungjoo has wiser decision. Maybe that applies for now.

“Ow,” he groans when he tries to lift his body. Sungjoo turns his head at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really, I’m feeling sick.”

Sungjoo chuckles, “You were sleeping like a log in such an extreme heat, no wonder you’re like this. Unbuckle your seat belt, I’ll help you.”

Yixuan does as told, groaning in happiness when Sungjoo presses a wet and cold towel into his face, neck, and hand. The towel is soft but Sungjoo’s hand is softer, and he brushes Yixuan’s skin so carefully like he’s cleaning a glass vase.

“So, where are we, and what are we doing here?”

“Sssh,” answers Sungjoo, “Don’t rush, darling. We have plenty of time, and I want to talk to you about a lot of things.”

“Talk as in… boyfriends, group mates, or…?”

Sungjoo laughs at him. “Go change your shirt first, you’re sweating. I’m going to buy some cold drinks, okay? Go to the backseat if you’re uncomfortable.”

Yixuan exhales deeply as he does as told, again. It’s rare to have Sungjoo orders him around, he usually does it to prank him with the other youngsters. But Sungjoo seems different now—calm and mature, and he takes Yixuan’s place on making decision for others. It feels nice, somehow. It feels like being taken care of. Something Yixuan only gives and gives and accepts none in return.

 

Sungjoo is back with a white plastic bag on his hand ten minutes later, he bought snacks and canned soda and Yixuan _really_ wants to laugh at him. They are in the middle of an unhappy situation, and they are definitely past the age to eat snack and drink soda in the car like some stressed highschoolers after exam week.

“Hey, why didn’t you buy something with more calories in it? We haven’t eaten lunch and snack won’t fill your stomach.”

“I went to a minimarket, okay, not a bakery. The only food that decent enough to fill your stomach is what I bought here, so stop nagging. We’re going to eat real food on our way back, I promise.”

Yixuan snorts to hide his laughter. “Wow, you’re acting much like a leader now. Too bad the kids aren’t here to see.”

Sungjoo hops into the driver seat, folding his knees and resting them on each side of his steering wheel. “Thank you. Sharing responsibility with you is not that bad, based on my experience.”

And so, that reminds Yixuan. “What do you want to talk about?”

“We’ve gone through a lot for years, huh?” Sungjoo starts, fingers sweeping the surface of his canned soda. There’s a funny _pop!_ sound when he opens the seal. “Honestly, when I first started this career, I didn’t think I’d go this far. I was lacking at many things, I wasn’t very good with people, and I had severe identity crisis. But then I met all of you… you, especially, I thought you were an angel. Your smile was too dazzling to be human.”

“Stupid,” Yixuan says quietly, staring down at his soda. He lets Sungjoo continue.

“I’ve spent a lot of time with you, Yibo, Seungyoun and Wenhan. I can’t believe we’re going to be different individuals tomorrow, after the thing that has been bonding us together for years is no longer existed.” Sungjoo takes a deep breath, “Life is really cruel sometimes, huh?”

Yixuan doesn’t respond; he doesn’t really know how to respond. He can’t see the point of Sungjoo’s words, but he’s not sure about anything anymore. He glances outside instead, watching the sun glows with yellow and orange and it spreads on the sky, giving them new life. It’s going to be dark real soon, but the sky is alive. Yixuan wants to be the sky.

“The sunset is beautiful, hmm?”

“Yeah,” answers Yixuan. “Hey, wait, why did you suddenly change the topic?”

“I’m not changing the topic, I’m getting on the point now.”

Yixuan frowns; all this talk doesn’t make any sense for him. Just when he wants to wonder more, Sungjoo pulls out something from his jeans back pocket and throws it at Yixuan’s direction. _A small blue velvet box._

Yixuan’s heart almost stops. Is it what he thinks it is?

He opens the box slowly. A glimmering silver ring greets him, looking glorious under the sun’s bright orange hue. Yixuan gapes, staring at Sungjoo wordlessly.

“You were suffering the most among us during the years we spent together. You’ve never showed it, never told anyone, never wanted to bother us with it, but I know. Because you’re special to me, Yixuan. And seeing you hurt yourself over and over again to cover us hurts me even more.”

“That day… when you said you wanted a happy ending for yourself, I swore to myself I’d give it to you. When you said you wanted to be happy before you forget the way it feels, I swore to myself I’d make you happy in every breath you take so you’d never forget it. I’ve had enough of you sheltering everyone under your wings to keep us alive, and now I want to do the same for you. I will take your place, I will protect you, and I’ll keep you under my wings. But before that… I need to ask you something…”

_Will you marry me?_

 

Yixuan’s fingers are trembling and tears flowing down his cheeks without a warning, worrying Sungjoo. Yixuan wants to tell him _It’s okay, they are not sad tears, you dummy_ , but Yixuan is too overwhelmingly happy to say a word.

He ends up staining Sungjoo’s denim shirt with tears as Sungjoo hugs him tight, kissing his crown and temples numerous times until Yixuan can control his sob and answers Sungjoo’s proposal properly:

_I do._

 

 

They sit on the roof of Sungjoo’s car, watching the last line of the horizon changing color.

“It’s beautiful,” Yixuan murmurs. Sungjoo hums in agreement.

“By the way, I still wonder why would you choose today out of the days in the whole year to do this.”

Sungjoo shrugs, “We are not going to be strangers with memories starting tomorrow, because I’m not letting that happen.”

Yixuan chews the inside of his cheek. Tomorrow, the company will cut the bond between five of them, leaving them as individuals. And if Sungjoo didn’t propose to him today, Yixuan can’t imagine how much time he will need to cope with this and be ready to see the world again.

It’s better to have someone beside him when his world falls apart. He knows Sungjoo would be there even without the proposal, but knowing Sungjoo has made a commitment to make him _his_ and his only reassures Yixuan that maybe, life isn’t always that cruel.

“Hey, Sungjoo.”

“Hmm?”

“I think the prettiest moment of sunset is when the last line of the horizon changes color, just like what we’d watched a moment ago.”

“Uh, why? Isn’t that supposed to be sad?”

“No, it’s the opposite. The dark silhouette is embracing the sun who had given the sky a life throughout the day, helping them resting peacefully so the sun would have enough strength to shine on the next day.”

Sungjoo holds Yixuan’s hand, smiling. “Just like us?”

Yixuan nods, smiling back. “Yeah, just like us.”


End file.
